Jason Chua

Compromising is the key, Forgiving is a routine, Accepting is maturing.

6:21 AM JaSoN A.k.A [j]BiTEmE

Why relationships fail? Preemptively, many cliché answers will surface. Is it because there’s better tasting fishes out there? Or is it because it was wrong from the get go? There’s no definitive answer to that question when you factor in all the emotions and details. But in the end all the reasons are very similar. Well the way I see it, when I was around 16 when I started dating , I bawled my eyes out like a little boy losing his front tooth ( no worse , I cried like a bitch) when my first girlfriend broke up with me. I didn’t know what I was getting into. I try and try again to find back that feelin that I had with my first love and I realized that it is impossible to find it in other girls. That is when I learn , love is not as simple as holding each other’s hands. Ironically that is what it is supposed to be… Naive and pure.

I find myself looking for that particular feeling I had with my first one, I find myself accepting whoever that confessed. One relationship after another, I got immune to break ups. I am not heartless I just think it is not worth my time. Truth is I am not a very persistent person, my face is not made out of rhino butt, I pull out a the slightest feeling of rejection. Yes I am sensitive like that , I be like sending a text saying “hi” and after 5 minutes , I tell myself if she is interested she will reply in the second.

I have always feared , the feeling of being comfortable around my girlfriend that it became routine .If you meet your bf/gf everyday , you don’t hate them , you will find yourself losing that “spark” that butterfly in your stomach when u held her hands for the first time . It just becomes a norm, a routine. You lost all the reasons to hold on to the relationship, You will then tell yourself “I am worth more than this, why settle for less?

See here’s the thing, people often mistake love for emotion. It is not, it is about compromising , forgiving ,and learning to accept each other’s flaw. But of course if you are all about whoring your way like a player, you can disregard all those that I just said. One day you would have to settle down maybe you can refer back to this blog and read it again. If you are into long term relationships, that shit is hard. Compromising is the key, forgiving is a routine, accepting is maturing. Ask yourself this, where is your limit? Can you see yourself compromising with your partner’s ideals and principles? Can you see yourself forgiving your partner for cheating? Can you accept the fact that she is not you thought she was? Well that my friend is why relationships fail. Hell marriages ends in divorce is because of people mistake love for emotions. No love isn’t an emotion or even a noun, It’s a verb, better defined as giving , As putting someone else’s needs above your own.

Sometimes you just find yourself giving and giving and giving, and your partner start to take you for granted and got used to receiving, that’s when you are steering your relationship into pre-destined upheaval . Slowly but surely, those pent up emotions is gonna crack your heart, and when that happened you will have a void in your chest and you are no different than a reanimated zombie. A heartless bastard seeking vengeance.

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My New girlfriend

5:06 AM JaSoN A.k.A [j]BiTEmE

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Moments and lines

2:55 AM JaSoN A.k.A [j]BiTEmE

I think if you've known me in real life , or at least close to me , well you know well enough im philosophical sometimes .

My maths teacher once told me this , life are like straight lines , and the length of the line represent time . You see , you meet alot of people in your life , your sisters , your brother , your friends , your love ones . Imagine they are lines as well .

When you are born , you start meeting people , kindergarten , primary , high school , college , university and you cant even start to count how many memorable moments u have had through out your 20 years. These moments occur when your life intersects with other's life.

These so called moments , many took for granted is one of the most important aspect of our life. These moment happened where your line intersect with others is what make you who you are , who you're with , and who you're not. May these moments be filled with tears of sorrow , or tears of joy , or maybe something disheartening happened , it shapes up your future , these sum of moment at point of birth is equal your personality .

Let me give you a hypothetical scenario : Let's say you have a boyfriend right now and u loved him so much so that you know well enough , he's the one im going to married. Now back up a little and , imagine that you are a straight line , and is moving straight on a piece of white paper , at a certain junction , at a certain time , a wild line appeared , and at that moment , you and him met and at that particular point , when the moment is just right , you fell deeply in love with him . you guys can picture it perfectly right?

So here's the question , What if god forbids , you got into an accident and you turn back the sands of time , and re-live those moment before impact between you and him . In this case you lost all your memories about the point you met him ? Will you still be able to love him again ? for who he is ? for a second time ? at the wrong moment ?

Well chances are no . Moments don't happen by chance , they happened by fate . There's no such thing as fabricating a plan to make friends and mind map every single move you gonna make and ultimately get the girl/guy. It doesnt work that way . Even if it did , *if someone did this to you * and you found out that you loved someone for who he made u think he is and not who he really is, will you still love him? lol i guess not.

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Yearnings

8:56 AM JaSoN A.k.A [j]BiTEmE

If you are sick and tired of emo shit , leave now hahahahahhaha this aint for u

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever.

You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse.

You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too.

You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them.

And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them.

That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most.

And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial.

And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it.

And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them

And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this.

And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's.

Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection.

And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place.

After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back.

Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

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The story of The Apple Tree

3:27 AM JaSoN A.k.A [j]BiTEmE

Alas , an untimely update on this dying space , nor will this post will spring it back to life in a jolt , I made this blog 2 years ago to pen down my thoughts , i figure i shall preach to you all about a story , a story about an apple tree , else this space rendered useless.

Apple comes in few shapes and sizes , some are bitter , some are sweet , some are green , some are bright red. Some use it to discover physical laws , some use it to sin , some use it to revolutionize the world . Im gonna use it to describe love.

Well apples are like girls , and the apple tree is a hierarchy ladder. What do i mean by that? Well ask around and you will realized people will have different take on girls on a different level . Some say the perfect girl has to be sassy , sexy , fun , etc etc. Nevertheless this analogy is a general form and can be used for your own preference. Perfection is non-existence , but for this story , let's just use perfection in a hypothetical way.

The sweetest apple i've tasted is called the arlet apple, its been a long time since i tasted such pleasant sensation in my mouth . Well you see , in this story the sweetest apple is the perfect apple , and it only grow on the top most part of the tree and the not so sweet ones are grown at the bottom part of the tree which is easily reachable in an arm stretch . Those are the kind of apples you should watch out for.

Some men are afraid of heights , its not the height that scares them , its the idea of falling down and hurting themselves really put them on edge , or worse , off. It's no myth that guys chase head over heels for the girl that he deem perfect (hypothetically speaking). I can assure you girls , 90 percent if not 100 percent failed and that shit hurts , it stings , its stays in your heart , it gashed a scar in your heart that you will use as a constant reminder not to scale the heights anymore. That is why guys tend to pick the apples that is near to the ground , they are afraid to hurt themselves again .

But do you know whats worse den falling off the tree ?

Dropping the perfect apple .

Truth be told , not many are willing to scale the apple tree. I bet , (not statically proven) ,alot of men out there arent happy with their marriage. There's an inside joke among guys " marriage is the end of your life "

That is not entirely true , at least not on my watch . This is simply because the assholes said this is probably the cowards that is afraid of heights and settled for rotten apples . No offences to anyone though , but if you really think your wife is a living hell , why did you marry her in the first place? If you really love her , you will say non of that. If only you got the guts to climb the apple tree.

The point of this whole analogy , is that , for guys out there , live your dreams , make every effort count in chasing the girl of your dream , don't waste your time picking up apples on the ground because they don't worth your time , because by the end of the day you wont cherish them and ultimately breaking up. Its a lose lose situation.
Dream big ! and work hard for it , Mount Everest is conquered one step at a time , this is just an apple tree.
If you did not reach your goal , don sulk over it , because along the way , there will be people watching your every steps. And who say's there's only one perfect apple growing on the top part of the tree? Apples grow in a bunch at a time ^^

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Suck it up

12:28 PM JaSoN A.k.A [j]BiTEmE

Have u ever met someone , with an attitude so naive that just ticks you off so bad u just want to tear their head off and rip the brains of and shove some logic into their petite narrow minded pea sized brain? yes .

They think their the only one getting all the hurt , they think their the only one with fucked up family problems , they think the world revolves around them. Stop generalizing from the particular i must say. Saying all guys are jerks and their all the same doesn't make you a saint , it just makes you a pathetic hypocritical bitch.

Oh come on , if all the guys are like that , then you are a product of screwed cause , guess what your dad is a guy too in case u haven't notice . Don't give me bullshit saying he is different he is my dad ... hello heads up , he was once a teenager too. so suck it up like everyone else .

I know you are entitled with your own opinion , i know you have egos , but slap* slap* bitch , this ain't no fairy tale , this is real life , you cant control this shit okay. And why do keep referring guys as assholes? are they always the one at fault? are you the third wheel? are u wearing a size 7? cause it seems like you are always in their shoes as if you are dating their bf and know he is an asshole . And so what if he's an asshole? It's not for you to judge... you dated assholes before yourself oh boo hoo tough luck girl .

I've been played.. i've been dumped .. i've been cheated on , i closed my eyes , i clench my fist , i walked away , i moved on. At some point of time , guys or a girls , will come to a realization that r.s is not what they think it is anymore. Its for them to discover and for u to shut the hell up and watch the train wreck.

If you want to be a single wretched virgin all your life , go to the monastery and become a nun. There you wont see any assholes or jerks .

p.s you know well enough im talking about you if you're reading this .. i tried to talk to you , but you are so full of yourself that you don't even bother to talk to another male race. Try talk to me in real life , cause i know in real life you are a nice person .

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