Jason Chua

empty
this post aint suppose to end like this but im too lazy to cry my heart out, maybe im nt emo enough to make an emo post XD i rather be optimistic person who sees the best in everything i hope you do the same too .
on the side not ; i went to confession the other day and i din tell the priest that i jump que and that i still hate my grandmother although she is still in the icu ...

Just for the records i skipped cny one too many times now , i cant spend quality time swindling peers out of blackjack like i used to . Mummy and daddy was nagging me like if i dont go i wont be able to go anymore with them next time blah blahh yada yada yada ~~~ they planned to go to china AGAIN next year.. ok im a male teenager , with only skin and bones and i'm not a big fan of cold wheathers. I would have to wear up to 4-5 layers of thermal shirts , cloaks and whatnot , very uncomfortable u Know T.T and its killing me . Here are some of the pictures from those painful memories

Since man ran naked on earth for several thousand of years, he has changed very little.Yes man produced fire, built the pyramid, and walked the moon , but his needs havent changed for thousands of years

FOOD
BEER
WOMAN

But how is this compatible with your sophisticated modern life? With a few single tips u can be a perfect girlfriend, which would make him want to be a perfect boyfriend

1) Relax your standards
-a perfect girlfriend is not a plastic doll, while you should endeavor to maintain your feminity,once in a while let your guard down.

2) Dress up
-Dress up to occasions, dont turn up to movies in your pj. You dont want to reek of your blanket smell in the theater. Dress up decently let him be proud of you. We know its not practical all the time to wear heels eg; beach, carwash, sporting events. But if you dress up he will appreciate it and you will feel more attractive

3) Massage his ego
-Remember the males ego is as fragile as glass. Make your boyfriend feel good about himself even if he is getting in your way. Let him be useful and tell him he is great!
Don't nag him into submission, as there is nothing sexy about a man that is forced into a corner . You know the bed is not made properly ,but congratulate him for his efforts.

4) Feed him
-Like it or not the old saying is true, the way to men heart is through his stomach.You dont have to cook, but make sure your local take away is on speed-dial.Remember when your boyfriend is hungry, his attention will switch from you to the fridge. Dont take it personally , its primal. Symptoms of hunger to look out for is grumpiness , slightly flared nostril . If he gets like this dont suggest salad.

5) Give him space
-A man friends is important to him,so is his ability to spend time with them,where he will do male activity like growling , fighting and measuring things.Allow him space for his friends. Let him roam and when is he is ready to come back he will spend quality time with you

6) Listen to him
-Men enjoy explaining things. Tellling you the mechanics of automobiles , or why sean connery makes the best bond. Even he is being really boring let him have his air time . When he shuts up he will be the most loving boyfriend and will appreciate you for listening to his bullshits even if he know you werent really listening.

good luck girls

I was sitting behind a counter top, and suddenly a weird feeling got to me. I hear voices in my head calling my name.All this emotion bottled up inside of me burst, and i finally made the decision.I'm buying That lycosa. The lycosa was talking to me speaking to me in keyboard language only i could understand ,i was awestruck and i was overwhelmed by the temptation. I wish i could have fought back. But the temptation was too great. I got the money so why not right ? RIGHT? so i did i withdrew 300 and bought it straight away YAY. its so cool it has a WASD BACKLIGHT WTF... AWESOME.It also come with stickers which i will stick it on my laptop next time, It is macro programable meaning to say i can assign any shortcut keys for it weeeee...it has a touch panel for easy shortcut to next my songs.Its pretty awesome and the keys on it has blue illuminating lights which u can turn it on when ur playing in the dark .AWESOME It also has a build in sound/mic jack at the back and a usb port . GOOOO GGAAA GOOO GAAA drools* Now salmosa and goliathus is no more lonely. The new addition into my Razer family is almost complete now the only thing missing is my headset heeee ok let me show you how that sexy bastard looks like

As i open my eyes , i was greeted by a shimmering light,the sun beam is hitting down on me and i realized i was late.Then and there i heard someone honking on the horn,followed by a loud roar. JASON !!!! ARE YOU NOT GOING TO WORK AGAIN.My eldest sister was suppose to send me to work came in and shouted at me at the top of her lungs. Feeling guilty i hid myself under the blanket pretending to asleep. Mum and pops is away for vacation. Truth be told i stayed up whole night watching nat geo. Truth be told i only catch an eye shut at 6 in the morning wtf and my alarm rang at 630 double wtf. Right now i'm greeted with this unpleasant anxiety,i've been skipping work one to many times this month,What would be my salary next month? Sigh....Mum's coming back tonight i wont be able to stay up late playing games anymore. And wont be able to skip work like i used to anymore.I wish i was impaired so i don have to go work wtf. No i dont want to be impaired.Utterly disappointed at myself =( if there is and Ctr+alt+delete button on my body i will end task laziness.

Oh yeah check out the song on the side <<<< its pretty nice

Pardon me for this untimely update,as you guys has already noticed my blog url has been changed, courtesy from an unknown loser who deliberately phucked up my online social accounts, and my old blog has been freeze.Well whoever you are , you may be a keyboard warrior or spidershit whatnot go get a life. You may have owned me in cyberspace ,try owning me in real life, lets see whos getting a bitch slap. I have a few suspect in my mind already. You better not be from ibs (i become stupid) you son of a bitch. nuff said about this loser.I really have to say thank you to that special someone who helped me get my cyber life back on track, Thanks alot !!!!!!!!!!( you know who you are) though you are mean to me all the time . ><

I would like to bring to your attention that my gf application post is not really a hit on the girl, cause no one applied ,( that is not totally true ) perhaps my incentive isnt attractive enough or maybe my requirements is too specific and it scared the girls away i.e

Girl A : ooo i think i can try out to apply *continue reading* , ok never mind fuck that faggot im 55 he says he want 18-22

Girl B : hmmm i think i could give it a try *digging my blog* , forget it i only ditched one guy b4

Girl C : I got all the requirements needed =) so i think i will apply

30 mins later girl C was rejected

Girl C : Damn i know that guy ! And i dated him b4 FML T.T

Ok on this 2nd attempt to score a girl or 2 , i decided to lower down the specs of the designated future gf.I decided to even raise the incentives and be more generous with my outings with them so Mall visits at MY expenses . But don worry Now the application will have a wider range and is more open =) Good luck !


Applications are invited for the following requirement. The package and incentives are mentioned below:
Designation :
Junior , Middle age , Senior citizens ( if your husband died and you are look for a stable man)

Experience :
Not neccessary to have ditched 2 guys , I don mind freshies , I don mind Seasoned folks too

Requirement :
Must have a good sense of humour,( meaning laugh at every single joke i crack)
A pair of working eyes ,
A pair of working hands,
A pair of working legs
Must have a dedicated heart to be my full time girlfriend
At least do some homework before applying ( must noe a thing or 2 of my pass)
Its important to be well versed in english ( if you are ah lian, consider taking IELTS b4 you send in your resume)
A list of history of pass r/s ( attach it to your resume) reason for break ups
If you are recomended by others you stand a good chance to be accepted
A talent session will be conducted during the interview i.e (singing, dancing,cracking jokes,imitating disney characters voice,Poem reading ...etc etc)
Able to do street bargaining , and fights if required
IMPORTANT NOTICE: senior citizen that are handicapped or have any cronical illness are not eligible to apply .

Perks and incentives:
Total( monthly) gross of : rm 500

• 2 gifts worth not exceeding rm 1500/-(no precious metals, stones)
• bike rides each duration 3 hour( used to be 2)
• trips to Lambir National Park ( monthly routine to check out polar bears and utans) Hot*
• 5 Trips to City fan / Bulatan park ( Now fishing rods are included in this package) new*
. Desserts at a regular gap of 2.5 days ( Good behaviour will have more rewards)
• Daily allowance Not reaching RM30
• 2 movies per month (on weekends)
• Visits to Bintang Shopping Mall and Boulevard every weekend (On my own expense)
APair of Jeans or T-shirts (levis)according to demand will be gifted, subjectto finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be charge ( or worse terminated)
The probation period is 1 month, after which confirmation will be Promoted to fulltime Girlfriend
Important Notice :
The 5 finalist will be eligible to compete for the position Wife and carries the title MRs Chua


Hurry! Special offer will be given for the first 5 applicants and its on FCFS basis

p/s
pls take note , there is a strict code for the resume format , pls be inform that a proper format is required , Things like address , phone number , passport size picture , skills , experiences, guys u worked for , qualifications, certificates, failing to meet this requirements will result in rejection. Credits will be given to those who provide more than what is needed and a proper format

Email :jason_biteme@Gfsearch.com
Office number :085-433222
Fax : 085-433222
Hp : 014-768-2515

Please submit your resume before 18/11/2030

Step 1
Buy urself a pack of ferero rocher
step 2
stalk anyone that goes in the bath room to do number 2
step 3
go to the cubicle next to him
Step 4
mash up the chocolate bar in ur hand
Step 5
And u stick ur hand to the bottom side of the wall and say
'' scuse me can u pass me some toilet papper over there ''

HAHA

Today i have a few agenda to attend to
1) sit for my law test
2) open a public bank account
3) make an appointment or check my teeth right away with dr baru
*but things din go my way

I was on msn this morning and b4 i went to myEG i was chatting with crys,when i bade goodbye to her and she said this b4 i go.

jas: wish me luck alright
crystea: i hope u fail
crystea: i like to go against
jas : oh okay wish me fail den
crystea: oh ok i hope u fail jas so u can sit for it right away and i hope u fail it again

FML T.T

1st agenda
I was on my way to Myeg for my law test, on the way i was bullshitting things like , " mum i think those ppl who cant pass their law test are really fcked up '' My mum gave me an irritated face, '' boyyy u know , you are always overconfident and u like to look down on others '' blah blah blahh~~~ don u dare fail boy if u do u will be the first in the family to actually fail law.

on the side note : my mum actually pass her law and got her license but she dont know how to drive @@

I went in myEg and sat there waiting for my turn , and suddenly my ah beng jay chou message ring tone came into play. Who was it i wonder lol, it was jeremy and this is wat he has to say

jeremy : watsup man gambateh ...haha..dunt lose my face man u must pass man ...later u become like me if not passs ...got bass waiting for us hahah yamatehhh ( wtf) haaha

jason : how the heck did u noe but anyway thanks lol

jeremy : If not pass blow job the jpj guy ... hahah kasi song u punya pensil biar got song ma ... comfirm pass

jason : wtf !!

20 mins later ....

walked out the of the computer room knowing i passed.it went smoothly without a hitch.alot is actually running through my mind How am i suppose to tell this to mum , and wat catchy phrase should i say ?
People who cant pass their law is retarded?
People who cant pass their law doesnt even need to drive?
People who cant pass their law are really hopeless? hehehe stupid ppl
very mean hor *

But i am a modest guy , so i kept the thought to myself, i Got a freaking 45 TT was expecting 50 actuaally but anyway fuck it 45 would do .. i don give 2 shits anyways..

Thats agenda number 1 done

2nd agenda
is where i was suppose to open a public bank account for my freaking salary ...so i waited in line to withdraw 250 ..waited again in line for someone to attend to my bank thingy ...i waited for 40 mins just to hear '' urm sorry today our system is down so there is no way we can open up an account for u , can u come again tomoro , FML ! so i left without saying a word. I went to another PUBE BANK and luckily this time the line is short , i went in and the next in line is me. So i gave the girl my Ic and i saw the most unpleasant scene ever, she have residue of cookies on the side of her mouth and i cant bare to look at her ewww, but it was funny to see hw the residue moves when her lips move it moves with it , haha . She tried her best to scan the freaking gold chip on my ic, but to no avail, Rub , scan , rub rub , Scan FAILED..as much as i dont like to show other ppl my Ic , i also hate that i have to bring my passport as supporting evidence that the '' Vietnamese " looking guy on the ic is me . Just for kicks . And so i left once again without saying a word. so i guess i wont be able to open an account today. CIBAI THE PUBE BANK.

3rd agenda
I was suppose to meet up with a dentist, and so i went to the clinic with my mum. Its pretty rundowned actually . have u ever heard of Doctor baru? yeah my friend introduced me to him krismin.He got his teeeth fix there . And so i went in and no one is behind the counter. I peeked behind and saw 2 giggling nurse came out. I was like ermmm '
me : i want to make an appointment with the dr
nurse : ok when
me : next monday 1030 would do
nurse : write ur name down and contact number
nurse : wait wait wait hold on wat do u want the doctor to do for u?
me : i want to see if i can make braces for my teeth
both nurse : ( laughs)
me : ( wtf wats so funny abt that )
nurse : our doctor stopped the practicing braces for patients because he want to retire edi
me : wtf!!!
walked out the clinic*

I sat in the car i realised that , things that are out of my control doesnt go my way today , and yeah so i passed my law ( which is a good thing) but i failed to make my bank account and appointment with my doctor..And as much as i want to listen to engine ( wtf listen to engine sound) this saturday , i cant because according to the bitch in myEG apparently its a PUBE holiday this satuday , kaninah @@

So i went back home , after all that shiets i realised i couldnt take any steps back again. I cleaned my room and wash my clothes and realised something
I lost 4-5 of my favourite underwears fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!
I wonder if its in my dads wardrobe , or the freaking maid stole it and bring it back to indon so she can wear it on her head while she sleeps Wtf !?!?!?!?!?!
ok enough set backs today im out

I knew i couldnt keep you
I knew we werent even meant to be
You used back the very same reason i broke up with you
Truth be told ,Im falling apart
Not because you decided to kick it with me
Its because it hurts so bad
When i reminisce the sweet memories we had
It doesnt really mean a thing to me back then
Now it meant alot to me
I did my very best but it doesnt help at all
Since you dont even care about me anymore
I will let you go gently
Now we are back to back
And we start taking 10 steps away from each other without looking back


10


9


8


7


6


5


4


3


2


1


You turned back at me and realised i did not move at all
And i will whisper go.....

Maybe is you i couldnt live without
Maybe i am love drunk
Never know when i will be sober
But all i know is that im still hung over
You are so contagious yet addictive
Just one sip will make me sick
These feelings that i kept blocking myself from
Is giving me a carpal tunnel
It finally gave in
I couldnt hold it any much longer
Im sick and bed ridden
Perhaps we should trade shoes
Fit my shoes ,just to see whats its like to be me
What size u wear? i wear 8
Lets see if u can fit your feet

Sorry for the untimely update.Been busy the whole week working FmL.I went to a saloon today and got my new hair cut and guess what? i turn out to be what im afraid to be.I dyed my hair and shave the left side of my head and left my right side burn untouched..and i dyed it dark brown/purplish..first i was like oh ok that would SOUND nice cool innovative idea i've never tried a crazy hair cut so i thought i might give it a try,the end result of my irrational action , i looked like a complete hooligan.FML
I look like a fucking ah beng now FUCK U KELVIN SALOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think i might try out leather bell bottom pants with a comb sticking out at the back red shirt with dragon on it and a leather sling bag and top it off with my new hair cut .hehe ah beng wanabe
* cipai ni zao ta a ni wo shi pink men de!!!*

Nerds.We've all heard abt em,hate em, love em, they just cant stop to put a smile on my face.Often stereotyped as the ones who pursues higher intellectual and anti social.The stereotypical nerd is intelligent but socially and physically awkward.There are more nerds in miri then you think.Open your eyes wide enough and you will realised that 2/10 people you see walking around are in fact NERDS.
Theres a few type of nerds.Pervy nerds,faggot nerds,hot nerds,bitchy nerds,rich nerds,and stupid nerds.

Pause

?!?!??!!? stupid nerds X0X0

Yeah there are some nerds out there are in fact stupid.Lawl.Some nerds show a pronounced interest in subjects which other tend to find dull and complex hard and difficult to comprehend.On the opposite spectrum , nerds may share common interest with their nerd friends ; playing cards,comic books,collecting sci fi action figurin and is viewed as immature.Nerds are often potrayed as unfit and either obese or ridicoulously thin and pale(girl readers note that they dont look like edward cullen,not even close)

We often look down on nerds , but heck they are the backbone of the country . Ask yourself how many nerdy friends do u have ? Do you see yourself having a brighther future than them? No! But seriously look at Bill Gates , everyone was in dos mode before he introduce Windows. (why windows nt why not doors).Another example ,just look at steve jobs,the touchscreen thingy u use to call your friends ,that small lil juke box u beg and cry for .yeah u noe wat i mean ,iphone,steve jobs made it for u.See if you ever look down on nerds again or discriminate against them, throw your iphone and smash your computer. So after reading this post i hope u all out there could show em some love ,give em a hug , give em a blow... ok thats enough
Leave me a comment or 2 cause they will carve a smile on my face =)

p.s ( im not a nerd but ill slap one if i see one winks*)

Due to recession, I sacked my Girlfriend (part of my cost cutting efforts) I need new one, so pass on this information to your female friends...please this is urgent (females only)

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required..
Age:18-23 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will be undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.
Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
• 2 gifts worth not exceeding rm 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
• bike rides each duration 1 hour
• trips to Lambir National Park
• 5 Trips to City fan / Bulatan park
. Desserts at a regular gap of 3 days
• Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth rm10 /-
• 2 movies per month (on weekends)
• Visits to Bintang Shopping Mall and Boulevard every weekend (On your own expense)
APair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subjectto finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (will be Promoted to fulltime Girlfriend)


Please NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.
Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.
Search never ends!!

Interested candidates can send their resume with
Subject:

Name/fresher- exp/age.

Photo must be in attachment to the email address via mail

Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.

Ah bengs are as i said in the other post is the male counterpart of Ah lians.And its also a stereotype to chinese males in their late 20s and can only be found in south east asia ( malaysia and singapore).Ah bengs are often related to crimes,overly dyed hair (over and over again and over again), and funky fashion only god knows what their thinking.Nyways move on to the main point.

Ah bengs can often be found in shopping mall holding their countepart ah lians hand bag on the left and a ciggarette on the right.Like ah lians they also like to take self potrait pictures and post it up on either friendster or facebook etc etc you got the point.Unlike normal everage joe, their overly "zhenged" car cant even speedbumps because its too low.They indulge in outdated japanese fashion and is not shy to show.

Ah bengs have a very distinctive slang.If you walk around in the mall and suddenly you hear a loud voice from the back you can bet your money on an AH beng speaking on the phone.Its a very easy way to pick up.They would mix english and mandarin (or other related chinese langguage) and often vulgarities in their daily speech.Ah Bengs are normally found gathering in the busier and more developed cities in the region. Ah Bengs normally comes from Chinese villages or Chinese dominated communities in cities. Ah Bengs typically come from lower class or middle class families.

Ah Bengs' fashion come in several stereotypes. One stereotype perceives Ah Bengs wearing flamboyant shirts, for example, with colorful decorations especially dragons, tight jeans and always carrying plastic combs. Another stereotype perceives Ah Bengs trying to follow Japanese fashion, with spiked and dyed hair, metallic ornaments, leather jackets, belts and pants.Luckily i am not into any of those shits.

If you are a girl and you see anyone or any guy that matches all of the above in boulevard or bintang mall stay away from him because who knows he might come out to you and say ''my friend wants your number '' LOL

I was browsing throught the net and i stumbled across AAL blog. Basicly its about ah lians.Its critics on ah lians. Judging from the langguage and slang i could think of none other than singaporeans and assuming they are still teenagers or college students.Im actually baffled the fact that they got the time in the world to actually pick up the flaws of ah lians and blog about it.But anyway lets get going with the main point.



Ah lians, definition of ah lians, hmm let me see... if you look around

1.polite

2.decently dressed

3.single

4.smart

5.well versed



Above are things that you will NOT find in ah lians. Its funny how they like to squeeze alot of alphabets into a word and twit it around.

qqqoinnggggg , yyews,mmmeaiiisss,trsuut, qqort, fiqurrinqqq

just to name a few twisted words , care to dechiper wat they mean?

going , you me , trust ,got , figuring <<<>



Ah lians are stereotyped as anti-intelectuall superficial, materialistic, and shallow.

Ah Lians are commonly stereotyped as having hair dyed in gaudy and bright colours, and wearing fashion mimicking hip-hop culture, or outdated Japanese fashion, although how much of this is true is debatable. Most Ah Lians wear fashions that are outdated and have straightened hair, usually with thick fringes. They love to take self- portraits and imitate the way Japanese girls take their pictures, making their eyes look big and puffing out their cheeks. They also take pictures by putting a horizontal 'Peace sign' over their eyes, pressing a fist facing outwards against their puffed cheek. They also apply a very sharp tone in their speech which they classify as "cute". Another distinct feature of an Ah Lian is they swear in most of their conversations just like Ah Bengs. Much like their male counterparts - that is-, ah bengs .Ah Lians are also thought of as being excessively flashy and show-offs.

The Ah Lian "culture" is especially prevalent in the secular Chinese educational system schools, typified by their frequent appearance in cliques with (their male counter parts ah bengs.)

Ah Lians commonly speak a kind of hybrid mix of singlish or manglish and Chinese, or Chinese-related dialects. It is also common for the grammar from these dialects to cross over to English usage, creating English phrases with Chinese grammar.

Ah Lians are stereotyped as very loose, sleeping with anyone of any race, age, and social status.

When people say gay...it pisses me off not because im gay..when people say ''thats so gay''.Its not like the word ''gay'' is an adjective. Ok when you saw a faggot in the class room, what pops out in your mind first?? Thats right , thats exactly what your thinking '' my god is he gay?'' well that happens to me once. I know i sound hypocritical now but heck who doesnt ? But you know what i hate most? People actually say;s that they love gay ppl. Isnt that a lil bit too contradicting because they use the word ''GAy'' everytime .When you speak of something negative , you are sending a negative connotation i mean like let me give you an example

straight : you know wat i like gay people, that make me feel comfortable around them because i don feel like they are staring at my boobs all the time

gay : do you want me to stare at your boobs?

straight : ewww thats so gay!

People need to acknowledge the fact that gay people isnt born to be gay. They choose their sexual orientation that suit them the best.Ok let us just say that everyone on earth is homosexual, and just imagine if they saw straight people.'' OMG THATS SO STRAIGHT" You get wat i mean.Wouldnt that be a lil bit weird. Ok this is getting a lil bit awkward . Why am i blogging about gay ppl ? am i turning gay? wtf haha relax i aint turning gay because i just turned single i still love pinkies HAHAHA Fuck you guys and i love you .. omg i sounded so gay ( maybe i am ) ok fuck it im out

You are the one who said it was impossible
You are the one who never feel what i feel
All the things you said
All the things you do
You made me feel like i lost my soul
You are one who nodded
Words are mere words
But its you are the one who said the feeling is gone
Thats the deal breaker for me
We couldnt be together anymore now that we cant even communicate
I never hated you
But now i loath you
Because you made me feel utterly dejected

When i listen to the songs you sent me,when i remember how we used to belong to each other,when we share the same cup,when we share the same commitment,the same love.
I've always been the best ears,and you have always been the best companion.You are like the ice-cream and im the cone.But till that day,everything is gone, and i realised i've made a mistake.Timberland says it best, its too late to apologize. Your ice cream melted and my cone wilted.For the first day i couldnt fathom wat had just happen.Every word you've said,it made my heart shattered to a million pieces that i could go through a needle head.Thats when i realised i loved you. Thanks to you im a changed man, i will appreciate whoever next. thanks for the memories even it wasnt so great. Bend me to hard and i will break. You pushed me to the verge of breaking point.And you broke it.........

i am now broken because of you..

1.Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

2.Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

3.Today I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML

4.Today, I called my girlfriend's parent to ask for her hand in marriage. They were shocked and told me that they would have to refuse. Apparently my girlfriend had told them last week that she had met someone new at work and didn't know how to break it off with me. FML

5.Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

6.Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

7.Today, while giving a lecture about gasses to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

8.Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

9.Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

10.Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

11.Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller."

12.Today, I was visiting my girlfriend's house to meet her parents. We were having a nice conversation and her mom then asked "What have you done recently that was great?" I replied without thinking "Your daughter." FML

Ive abandoned my blog for ages..time to update a lil.Time sure does flies by real fast.God would u look at the date now? its august 2009 already.It felt like i fell down the stairs and got my hair lit on fire just 2 days ago.Are we fast fowarded to the future to an impending doom? HHAHA ok fuck that.Lets take a step back, way back , back into time , form 4 when i had my first girlfriend?










No?









Further back....










There !






Finally! there i was sitting there on kindergarten plastic chair, nt really well versed in any langguage, looking at parents sending their lil kids to class,as i turn back saw a really disgusting view, green snort coming out of her nose.What the fuck?! yes my very first friend was a female. We were best friends back then shared the same food and toys,but only to grow up taking diferent route.But heck thats the only thing i could remember back in kindergaten.It really makes u wonder how many friends u've made and lost.Eventhough u've grown up and studied in the same college or Uni u might nt know that some of them is ur childhood friend am i right? Sigh...

Yall remember the dark blue pinafore short navy blue pants ? Remember how ur parents complaint how smelly u are when u enter the car? Remember all the silly puppy love back when u are in primary school? Rememer how Boys and Girls don mix at all in class? Yeap i remmeber em all.How bias our teachers are to us, how the fat bully get watever they wan,how our mum throw fit at us if we lost our bottle *maybe thats only me because i tend to leave things in school.sigh back in those days we have nth but ourself to care about.

How bout when ur 13? Remember how u first discover ur golden pride and jerked it up and down and say god it feels good.How u tell your mum about Ahem ''Mum!! ive been cursed!!! im urinating blooD !! im gonna die " haha maybe thats nt the case but hey thats puberty..the best tymes of our lifes. High school!! scouring for the best looking girl in the school acting cool by sipping ciggarettes.How bell bottom pants is regarded as a must have on the shopping listSkiping class , pulling pranks on the teachers, and sending valentine gifts to girls but just to regarded as ghost when they see u .* soowen *
LoL.Remember how your first girlfriend/boyfriend looks like?* griselda*
Remember how u tell them that u love them forever and really meant it till today?
Do u remember where u kissed ur gf/bf? the classroom? the corridor? or just by the staircase when no ones looking?*karyn
haha good old days where we are the kings and queens of the school..how we all share the same desk and chair, how lovely it felt when the sea breeze hit our faces.But when reality Smikes us in the face , its isnt that all lovely.the next thing u know u will be hitting 20 next year.Its sure is a roller coaster ride , a ride that ends with ur life.

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime.
I might sound cruel but falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful.
I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all'.(she is right abt it all along, im still in denial.)

have u ever wonder what your mum would look like if she have a mohawk hair..nose ring..and tattoos all over and she likes to smash things up..
well meet my mum...ok maybe she don have the mohawk hair..nose ring and tattoos..but she likes to smash things up..my keyboard especially..she hates me going online and doing wat i do...so last monday...i went out with daniel and friends...and i thought that i should be back early so my mum wouldnt be piss or whatever shit like that...guess what i reached my gate and everyone already went to bed..i called up my sister to open the door for me but she gave me shit ass reasons..so i waited for like 30 fucking minutes while pressing the doorbell but to no avail..really fuck them man.. damn it writing this shit makes me boil because i have to think back and god damn i could really slap someone..so i ran to this malay coffee shop and ask if i can use their phone...i called up everyone in the family...none answer..for a fucking 10 minutes i stand there pressing the dials like a retard in front of everyone...at last my eldest sis picked up her phone..and she is speaking so softly its barely audible..i just scream OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR!.. den i ran back to my house...on the way there my mum called..

Mum : where are u?
Me: on my way back lar! ive been waiting for someone to open the door since 1030..
Mum : 1030? are u sure ?
Me: yealah ( wat the fuck? if u are pissed at me to go back at 12 its understandable)
Mum : (hangs up on me)

i ran home and continue pressing the doorbell for like 5 mins before my dad finally open the door..my mum was actually awake but she purposely don wan to open the door for me...she blast me for staying out late and nt revising my maths...she got so pissed she grab my keyboard..(here comes) and smashed it to the floor into smithereens..the animosity in the air is felt..she smashed it twice to be sure its completely spoil..she took out a light bulb when she swing it in the air..in my head she turned into this heavy metal mum that smashes her guitar after concert... i picture her with mohawk hair tattoos and etc etc...*smash smash SMASH*.. she went to sleep after that and my dad have to clean up ... the aftermath of the keyboard smashing looks like a warzone ..now since my sister disconnected all the cables..and stash the whole cpu in her room.. well fuck her my mum already smash my keyboard..how am i suppose to do wat i do with my pc..she has to go extra length to make sure i don have the chance to fuck with my pc..damn it i hate her! stupid ox..go suck balls u..slut! fyi ... Im In My School COMPUTER LAB...which is pretty lame!!~~ok fuck u guys im out

posing for arthur's cam...
the end product... cant get the bigger version for now

olympic spermlympic champion


The thrills of rollercoaster...imagine the person beside you did it

self-explanatory


no comment... teck stop reading pervert magazines.. i found this in your room... lol..

2 ox smiling for the camera ...priceless

Recently i just started playing facebook and i went to michelle for help ,because i dun know how to upload my friggin photos , she called me a noob, LOL and im also new in bloggin hence went to teck for help, guess wat , i was called a noob by him too =(, but nvm everyone was once a noob so who cares i mean u guys may be worse den me hiak hiaks, ok la nths new today =) the author is signing out ciao